After a blood-sweat-and-tears data crunching session, taking a look at which countries have succeeded most often in securing a big fat zero, other than Germany and Austria this year, we can now tell you who is deserving of the coveted crown of Nul Points Champions of the World!
In a joint third place we have, Holland, Portugal, Belgium and Turkey with a commendable two scores of diddly-squat each in the competition. A special shout out must go to the Dutch who were the first country to score a double donut, scoring a big fat nada in both 1962 and 1963 (although Germany followed suit 4 years later!
In a sumptuous second place we see Germany, Spain, Finland and Switzerland stake their claim to the best of the worst. Of the four of them, Spain was the first to reach the goal in 1962 while Switzerland achieved the goal most recently in 1998 when songstress Gunvor couldn’t translate the success of her sex scandal to public votes on competition night.
Which brings us to the climax of this riveting piece – the numero uno of nada, the grand king of nothing, the hero of the zero – I present to you…………Norway! Hurray!
3 Eurovision wins in the bag have not saved Norway from a grand total four, sorry did you say five? No I said, four. 4 zeros in 1963, ’78, ’81 and most recently in 1997.
As the melodious French language can make a score of zero sound delectable, Norway’s four full-blown flops are an achievement to be proud of. Congrats to all involved and lets keep our fingers crossed for more glorious failures in the future.
OH WAIT! HOLD THE PRESS. The hosts of this year’s contest also got nul points? Taking their total nul points placements to 4. FOUR. MOVE ASIDE NORWAY, YOU’VE GOT NEIGHBOURS!!!!!
Ps: For the eagle-eyed amongst you, you may see a pattern that a disproportionate number of nadas came in the early sixties. 18 of the 34 nul-pointers came between 1962 and 1966 when each national jury could only award points to 3 songs rather than to 10 songs as they did from 1974 onwards.